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posted by [personal profile] cathyr19355 at 10:39pm on 16/04/2009 under ,
Today at 9:32 a.m. was the 50th anniversary of my birth.

It is somewhat out of character for me to discuss my birthday, but after half a century of reticence, I figure I should consider changing my tactics.

You see, I always thought of birthdays as the holiday that one's friends should always remember. In fact, I always thought that remembering someone's birthday was one of the things that defined whether somebody was your friend.

Except my friends never did remember my birthday, somehow, when I was a child. (It didn't help that I'm an only child, so there were no siblings to offer appropriate largesse bribes congratulations.) Maybe that was because I was too proud, or too couth, to say, "Hey, my birthday's on April 16!" But nobody ever asked me when my birthday was, either.

Until I was in college, only my mother consistently remembered my birthday. Even my dad generally screwed up the date (I think he went to his grave believing I'd been born on April 19), and I can't remember him getting me a birthday present, ever. (He was good about Christmas presents, though.)

Birthdays have been much better for me in adulthood. I have a wonderful husband who remembers my birthday; last weekend, he bought me a wonderful romantic birthday dinner at an exclusive, expensive local restaurant. My mother-in-law remembers my birthday consistently too, and sometimes the folk at my office pitch in for a birthday cake or some other communal treat. And at least 3 members of my f-list have remembered my natal day! Thanks again so much all of you.

I don't have much to say about what it feels like to reach my half century. One thing I do have to share is a great poem on that very subject by my favorite poet, Robert Frost. I found it by chance earlier this year while I was looking for something to add to the birthday volume that friends of my sister-in-law (who's also reached her half-century this year) were compiling. I'm not going to use an lj-cut, because it's very short. Here it is.

What Fifty Said

When I was young my teachers were the old.
I gave up fire for form till I was cold.
I suffered like a metal being cast.
I went to school to age to learn the past.

Now when I am old my teachers are the young.
What can't be molded must be cracked and sprung.
I strain at lessons fit to start a suture.
I go to school to youth to learn the future.
Mood:: 'thoughtful' thoughtful
There are 35 comments on this entry. (Reply.)
 
posted by [identity profile] jcbemis.livejournal.com at 03:34am on 17/04/2009
happy birthday (mine will be at Worldcon again this year)
 
posted by [identity profile] cathyr19355.livejournal.com at 05:04am on 17/04/2009
Thank you!

However, we won't be at Worldcon this year. We are going to World Boardgaming Championships instead--lots cheaper, and in some ways more fun for us.
 
posted by [identity profile] frualeydis.livejournal.com at 04:57am on 17/04/2009
Happy Birthday!

/Eva
 
posted by [identity profile] cathyr19355.livejournal.com at 05:03am on 17/04/2009
Thanks so much!
 
posted by [identity profile] flaviarassen.livejournal.com at 05:37am on 17/04/2009
I guess I'm your friend - check my LJ!
 
posted by [identity profile] cathyr19355.livejournal.com at 05:12am on 18/04/2009
I saw it after I wrote my post. Thank you so much!
 
posted by [identity profile] realm-of-venus.livejournal.com at 05:39am on 17/04/2009
Happy Birthday!
 
posted by [identity profile] cathyr19355.livejournal.com at 05:51am on 18/04/2009
Thanks! The April 15 Showcase was great!

Sometimes I think of doing another gown for the Showcase, but I'm pretty caught up in 10th century costume at the moment. :-)
pearl: Black and white outline of a toadstool with paint splatters. (pirate)
posted by [personal profile] pearl at 05:46am on 17/04/2009
Happy birthday! =)
 
posted by [identity profile] cathyr19355.livejournal.com at 05:14am on 18/04/2009
Thanks! Love the new icon! It combines two themes my husband and I have had fun with--penguins (symbol of Linux, the open source operating system) and pirates (lots of people love pirates). It also reminds me of the penguins in the Madagascar cartoon movies.
pearl: Black and white outline of a toadstool with paint splatters. (pirate)
posted by [personal profile] pearl at 07:27am on 18/04/2009
symbol of Linux, the open source operating system

Hehe, Tux is a very cute penguin!
Have I told you that I'm a computer science/engineering drop out? I hung about long enough for it to have an influence on my OS choices. Blame learning how to use Unix.

(While the boyfriend has a dual-boot Ubuntu and windows machine, I run Puppy on a very old laptop, while my main computer is a eeepc with Xandros.)
 
posted by [identity profile] cathyr19355.livejournal.com at 08:31pm on 18/04/2009
Really? No, you hadn't mentioned that you were formerly in computer science. You might have seen my husband, then. He was in Melbourne late in August in 1999, speaking to a Linux-users' group.

The machine I'm typing this on runs Ubuntu, because Eric is my sysadmin, he uses Ubuntu and prefers all the machines in the house to run the same OS, since he really hates sysadmining. :-)
pearl: Black and white outline of a toadstool with paint splatters. (Default)
posted by [personal profile] pearl at 12:14am on 19/04/2009
He was in Melbourne late in August in 1999, speaking to a Linux-users' group.

Ah, I would have been 15, in high school, and living on a sheep farm. So no. :(

And Ashley, who was at uni doing his computer science degree at the time says he hadn't actually realised Linux existed. (Strange man!)
 
posted by [identity profile] cathyr19355.livejournal.com at 03:53am on 19/04/2009
It was a long-shot, but I figured I'd ask. :-)
 
posted by [identity profile] brandyeileen.livejournal.com at 06:29am on 17/04/2009
Happy birthday! I like the poem. ;)
 
posted by [identity profile] cathyr19355.livejournal.com at 05:17am on 18/04/2009
I love Frost's poetry because he's so good at saying a lot in a few direct lines. Emily Dickinson is too, but for some reason her poetry has never resonated with me the way Frost's does.
 
posted by [identity profile] landley.livejournal.com at 10:26am on 17/04/2009
Happy birthday!
 
posted by [identity profile] cathyr19355.livejournal.com at 05:48am on 18/04/2009
Thank you for that, and for reading my birthday rant.
 
posted by [identity profile] blue-duck.livejournal.com at 12:24pm on 17/04/2009
Happy birthday! :) Wishing you a great day and a great year ahead.
 
posted by [identity profile] cathyr19355.livejournal.com at 05:16am on 18/04/2009
Thanks.

I had an okay day on the 16th, which is pretty par for the course for me. [livejournal.com profile] esrblog had our real celebration last weekend, and that was really sweet. So I'd call this a good birthday after all.
 
posted by [identity profile] fla-sunshine.livejournal.com at 12:25pm on 17/04/2009
Happy Birthday!

Somehow, I've never been very attached to celebrating my birthday, so it take an effort for me realize that they can be important to other people and to respond accordingly.
 
posted by [identity profile] cathyr19355.livejournal.com at 05:12am on 18/04/2009
Some people are, some aren't. No surprise in that.

I suspect that if I'd ever had one big birthday party, or one really special birthday when I was a kid, the whole birthday thing wouldn't mean much to me either. As it is, part of me has always felt I've kind of missed out, somehow, irrational as that sounds.
 
posted by [identity profile] terriwells.livejournal.com at 01:32pm on 17/04/2009
Happy birthday! I'm lousy at remembering birthdays; I think, of all of my friends, there are only four I remember consistently besides my own (and two of them are because they're on days that are memorable for other reasons).

As an adult, for me, birthdays have been "holidays" that I celebrate *with* friends, rather than the holiday that one's friends should always remember. It's my day to do whatever I want (though I don't take off work on that day). So if someone forgets my birthday, I'm not offended, and if they remember it, I'm pleasantly surprised.
 
posted by [identity profile] cathyr19355.livejournal.com at 05:21am on 18/04/2009
As an adult, for me, birthdays have been "holidays" that I celebrate *with* friends, rather than the holiday that one's friends should always remember.


Ah, but celebrating a birthday with friends *is* a way to remember the birthday.

Yours is probably a better attitude to have. Which is partly why I've always felt a bit selfish for wishing more people would remember my birthday. It seemed wrong to be discontent, even if only a little, because of something so trivial.
 
posted by [identity profile] ndrtoon.livejournal.com at 02:38pm on 17/04/2009
Happy birthday! In my experience, no one ever remembers birthdays. My parents remember mine, and sometimes my brother does, but even friends who have known me for 20 years can't remember without digital assistance. And to be fair, I have a hard time remembering their birthdays, too. At some point you know enough people that it's just impossible to track so many different dates.
 
posted by [identity profile] cathyr19355.livejournal.com at 05:07am on 18/04/2009
At some point you know enough people that it's just impossible to track so many different dates.


Well, that's true. But what used to bother me was that people I considered myself to be fairly close to didn't try to remember that day. I didn't expect everyone to do so, not even then.

And I'm a bit unusual in that I have a fairly easy time remembering strings of numbers, if they're not too long, and a date is nothing but a string of numbers. You're quite right that that's not true of most people.

 
posted by [identity profile] rmeidaking.livejournal.com at 03:54pm on 17/04/2009
Happy birthday! I'm only four months behind you, after all...
 
posted by [identity profile] cathyr19355.livejournal.com at 05:07am on 18/04/2009
Really? I hadn't known that. So yours is in August?
 
posted by [identity profile] nancylebov.livejournal.com at 04:08pm on 17/04/2009
Happy birthday!
 
posted by [identity profile] cathyr19355.livejournal.com at 05:50am on 18/04/2009
Thanks. I see from your profile page that yours falls the week after Balticon; will you be there this year?
 
posted by [identity profile] zsero.livejournal.com at 09:11pm on 17/04/2009
One reason I miss birthdays, even those I know well, is that I'm not always conscious of the date. I'll look at the calendar for the first time in a while and realise that a sibling's or parent's birthday was two days ago.
 
posted by [identity profile] cathyr19355.livejournal.com at 05:10am on 18/04/2009
I don't mind belated greetings though, or early ones. My annoyance with my dad for not remembering the date was not that he got the day wrong, but that he just didn't acknowledge my birthday at all.

I know some of the reasons for that, and even sympathize with them, but it still kind of bugs me when I think of it, and he's been dead for decades.

 
posted by [identity profile] treebones.livejournal.com at 03:37am on 19/04/2009
*hugs*
 
posted by [identity profile] cathyr19355.livejournal.com at 03:52am on 19/04/2009
*hugs* right back. :-)

See you at Penguicon?
 
posted by [identity profile] treebones.livejournal.com at 03:58am on 19/04/2009
Yeppers!

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