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esrblog and I decided it might be fun to check out the new CGI movie "Beowulf" tonight. Since his vision lacks stereopsis and he, therefore, cannot see 3D effects, we decided to see the regular, non-3D version.

It was an ill omen that the theater was empty except for ourselves and three adolescents, but I figured that was accounted for by the 10:30 p.m. showing time and the fact that the picture is, after all, based on an ancient Anglo-Saxon narrative poem. However, that wasn't the reason for the lack of interest. The reason was that it was bloody awful. So awful that we walked out about halfway through the movie--something I haven't done in more than a decade.

The only good news about this picture is that some of the CGI effects were spectacular. A lot of the skin textures looked right, even in closeups (of which there were many). Most of the humans, though not all, avoided the "uncanny valley" effect a lot of the time.

The bad news...requires more detail, and for that I will employ an LJ cut, just in case any of you still want to see the movie after reading this far.

( Abandon hope, all ye who enter here! )